| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|12:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the lovely ambience of my brother and sister fighting and screaming at each othe | ] |
This weekend hasn't been as good as i thought it would be. i wish i wouldve played more video games.
swim tryouts are on friday and im nervous. i really feel ready, more ready than i felt any of the other years, but this is my last chance, you know? i practiced at the y for two hours on friday, and i kinda am actually good. i really hope i make the team, swimming is just an awesome thing. i feel like when im in the pool just swimming around i really dont have to worry about anything else except swim swim breathe swim swim breathe. i need this.
something else i need is mario galaxy. it comes out tuesday, and i have it preordered at target. i kind of dont have the money to spend on it but i really dont have a choice. i feel like i absolutely need this game.
i can't save money for shit. everything i make disapears instantly. i write down everything i get from my jobs, and then i write down everything i spend for what. and it all slowly disapears. i cant catch up. i need to learn to stop going out places and spending money on food. i do that too much. and my car is my greatest pitfall - im spending about 40 bucks in gas a week. then 100 a month for insurance. its absolutely ridiculous. im trying to get rid of this car and get something smaller and with a smaller engine, especially since gas is "expected" to go up to 4 dollars. if it gets that high and i keep this intrepid, i'll basically explode. so yeah, thats another thing i have to do.
school has been crazy. i think im stressing over stuff too much, but i cant seem to help it. somehow i always get stuck being the one in charge of doing this or doing that. like i have to buy: nametags for our leadership conference on thursday, a picture frame for ms k's birthday from all of us, waffles/nutella for our italian project, candy chips etc for italian club. no one else wants to do anything and i cant just let things be.. not done. so i volunteer. i need to learn to say no.
also, im done buying people birthday presents. because 1) i dont have the money anymore and 2) when it comes time for my birthday, im ignored.
lastly, i cant wait to go to college. my family is so annoying. school is so aggravating. work is so worthless. i need to get away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2007|09:14 pm] |
 I'm seein that LIVE ! fuck yea!!! |
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| robots in disguise |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|03:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | end of the world - armor for sleep | ] |
I'm finished applying to college! Celebrate!
I still have yet to pay any of the fees, or send my SAT scores to them, which will probably delay everything, so I probably should get on that. But everything else is done, so I feel really relieved.
I pretty much exploded my calc test today, which is pretty sweet. I love being out of class 3/5 days of the week and failing life.
The Capt. & Pres. leadership conference was yesterday. There were a few hiccups, but overall it went really well. I think it works better when the group is smaller and there aren't a hundred kids. A couple people got on my nerves, though. Are people really that ignorant to still use "gay" in a derogatory way? I cringe every time I hear it. I ask a question "if you could only listen to one CD ever again, what would it be?", everyone has great answers, and then we get to this kid who starts off with "This is going to sound gay but..."
And I tried to stop him but he kept going, and all I could do was just shake my head. It's so aggravating that 1) I couldn't bring myself to actually stand up to him and 2) no one else was phased whatsoever by what he said. It's kind of pathetic that our school is still so socially inept that there is this incessant homophobia and constant need to clarify straightness in fear of being seen as anything but straight. I'd like to round up all these idiots and teach them some common sense.
Anyway, I have 5 free songs on itunes from this thing I found on facebook, so I just downloaded some things from the transformers soundtrack. One song is by armor for sleep, which reminds me that I won't be going to their show next friday and I'm very distraught. I'm hoping I can get to the one in the city on nov 1st instead. But that's a stretch.
Really psyched for tomorrow's trip, mostly because I get to see my manlap anytown friends. I want to meet the anytown kids from the other schools in the district. I wonder if they're cool, and I wonder what they're doing in their schools. Hopefully I'll see some tomorrow.
Swim training has been going really great. I'm running more than I ever have in my entire life. I ran for a whole five miles on sunday, and then two on tuesday. I was suppsoed to go again today, but I am so unbelievably sore from all the conditioning Dana is making me do that I really wouldn't be able to much. My quadraceps hurt when I bend, my abs hurt when I laugh and it even hurts when I walk. I feel like such a sissy that I'm so sore and I'm trying not to complain and just deal with it, but it's really ridiculous. Dana still wants me to run atleast a mile tonight and do more of the excersizes. She says I can't afford to fall behind because I need the endurance and she's right. I don't have a lot of stamina but I am noticing that I can go for longer lately. I just hope my legs don't explode later.
I have a little bit before we go out for dinner, so I'm going to take this opportunity to play my n64. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2007|10:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cobra - guilty pleasure | ] |
h'okay so.
im kind of really depressed because i haven't had any time to play any video games in such a long time. i still haven't finished metroid 3. my ds is basically dusty. i dont even know where it is actually.
my day has been pretty much school, staying after for random things, homework, go to work, eat dinner, college shit, tv, sleep, repeat. its so monotonous and i can't stand it. all my free time has been dedicated to either college applications or homework. and there isn't a lot of it to begin with. two jobs fucking sucks and I hate it because I don't know where all my money goes. I honestly have about 40 dollars right now and I've worked at these jobs for about 5 months. I can't save for shit. its pathetic.
im kind of really apathetic towards homecoming. i dont know what posessed me to fill out the form for the court. as i handed in the paper I said to myself "i immediately regret my decision". but i didn't think id get on the stupid thing. and i did. its not that big of a deal and its kind of pathetic when the other people are making it out as this huge surreal event. all i see it as is a popularity contest and another somethign i need to spend my non-existent money on. it's really aggravating because i havent even bought phantom hourglass yet and i feel like im betraying zelda.
after the busiest day at china ever today i just took some time to relax and watch tv. i love that cartoon network is playing the goosebumps episodes again. just in time for halloween. i fucking love october and i wish the weather would feel like it already. i want to go pumpkin picking.
i really can not wait until im done applying to colleges so i can get back to my life. and by life i mean nintendo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2007|08:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | evanescence live | ] |
Haven't updated.......so now I will!
Veg pledge lasted four days. Lolz.
Been ridiculously busy lately. Working almost every day, applying to college, essays here homework there. I can't wait till its all over! Soon.
My room smells like pumpkin spice because of a candle I bought and I absolutely love it. The office premiers in about an hour - im psyched. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|12:49 am] |
So I've taken the Veg Pledge !
For 30 days i'll be goin veggie. I started two days ago, and so far It's been pretty good. I really think that I could make this a life change and I know that I'd be a lot healthier this way.
What prompted me to do this was actually an advertisement for a flash game called "Super Chick Sisters" on joystiq.com. The game is basically a giant PSA against KFC, but I played it and after I beat it I decided to check out kentuckyfriedcruelty.com, and I was just in shock at what I learned. THEN i went to meat.org and that pretty much sealed the deal. I just cant support an industry that has such disregard for life.
Wish me luck and hope that I can actually acquire a taste for vegetables! :( |
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| Summer |
[Aug. 23rd, 2007|12:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
So I've neglected this thing for quite a long time. I actually forgot I had it.
The weather's been so fantastically miserable for the past four days. I don't think it's gone above 70 degrees. I really can't stand it, being that its the second to last week of summer and I'm wearing a sweatshirt. Speaking of the end of summer, I can't believe that its over. This is so incredibly cliche but it seriously flew by so fast. And I'm actually kind of angry that it's over. Lately my life has seemed kind of rushed. It feels like in the past year or so, someone flicked on the fast forward switch and I'm zooming along faster than ever. And I really really hate it. I feel like there are a lot of things that I'm missing out on, but I can't figure out what they are and if they even really matter. It really is such a peculiar feeling and I don't know how to express it, so I kind of just keep moving along.
My mom wants me to go back to my therapist and I really don't want to. It just seems really contradictory for me to go to this guy and spend all this money on it when she could use the money elsewhere. Part of me does want to go and talk to him, though. Its kind of strange how I feel like he actually cares about what happens to me for a minute, but then I realize that his attention is only on me because 1) my mom pays him and 2) he's trying to "figure me out". I don't really understand it. What an interesting profession.
Stream of conciousness continues...
The house has sold and we'll be moving by the end of september. My mom still hasn't found a house for us to move into yet. It's really bothering me that I'm being expected to accept this with no complaints. My mind can't grasp the command "Pack" when I have no idea where we are heading and there are about thirty other things going on at once. I honestly do not want to leave this house as I feel I barely got to enjoy it. Actually, we've been here for about three years. And I still feel like I didn't enjoy it? What the fuck is there to enjoy? God damn it, I don't get it. Ever since we've moved here I feel like theres something missing. My life just doesnt feel... complete? I can't put these ideas into words and I'm starting to get really aggravated at myself because I've had these feelings for a while and I've never actually sat down and thought about it before. Is this growing up? If so then I can say that I hate it.
I really need to get my life back on track and get out of fast forward or I can't say I know what will happen to me. |
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| prom night |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|12:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
So I am sitting here on my computer. In my tuxedo. Ready to go.
And I'm thinking to myself, wow, i'm getting old.
I know its cliche and all but this is me and that's all I care about anyway. So yeah, it's my junior prom and I guess I can say I'm excited. Though I'm not as much excited as I am nervous. For some reason, whenever I have to go to a party of some sort, I get nervous. I could be attending a friend's Sweet 16 or my cousin's first communion, I'll still be nervous. I really don't get why. It's strange.
This is the first "social gathering", i suppose, that I'll be going to since my cousin's sweet 16 this past august. That was the night our uncle had a heart attack on the dance floor and died. I know it was just coincidenceal, nothing's going to happen like that again. But the fact of the matter is it was unexpected, and I really don't like unexpected things. So I guess it's needless to say that if something bad happens tonight I will never go to a party again. Or maybe I will, I'm just saying that to be dramatic.
So anybob, I've still got a couple more minutes before I leave to pick up my date, so what better way to spend my time than playing the new Pokemon? Wow, that's so frank.
Till never, |
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